Nuestra Señora de la Soledad, or Our Lady of Solitude, is one of the titles of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Soledad, or Solitude, refers to the Blessed Mother contemplating the death of Jesus, her son. It is both a physical and psychological solitude for only a mother can know the pain the death of a child brings. A mother who has lost a child is truly isolated from those around her.
Under this title of Our Lady of Solitude, Mary is a model for those of us who withdraw from the world to pursue a life of contemplation. Devotion to Mary under this title commemorates the solitude of the Blessed Mother on Holy Saturday.
Our Lady of Solitude
In art Our Lady of Solitude is represented dressed in black and white, like a nun, with her hands folded in prayer. In this picture by Nicholas Rodrigues Juarez, symbols of the passion of Christ are below the Blessed Mother and she is seemingly bowed in contemplation and mourning the death of her son. This devotion is dedicated to Mary’s solitude on Holy Saturday, the day when the body of Jesus laid in the tomb before His resurrection on Easter Sunday.
Patroness: of the bereaved, consolation, a happy death, and against loneliness.
Who better is there as our model for the contemplative life than the Blessed Mother. She is the ideal of this life consecrated to seeking God and toward an intimate union with Him. Everyone who wishes to imitate Mary will soon realize that her soul was a beautiful garden of virtues. Chief among her virtues is silence. Silence and peace reigned in her soul even amidst the turmoil of the world around her.
It is only in silence that God can speak to our heart. This state of stillness makes us able to listen and to be receptive to Him and His will. Silence helps our emotions by calming the body and ordering tranquility in the soul. Silence and peace in the soul enters when the noise of our passions and attachments have ceased within us.
Our Lady of Silence teaches how to live the hidden virtues of silence, listening and humility under God’s shadow. Her birth was unnoticed, yet without her the greatest mystery of our faith could not have taken place. It is because of Mary that the Incarnation of the Son of God and Redemption of man was made possible. Her birth is like the dawn projecting new light over the new day. However, Mary’s birth is unknown, unnoticed and not even mentioned in the scriptures. She remained hidden to the world except for the eyes of God, who saw her in the silence and obscurity of her life.
It was in silence that the angel, Gabriel, found Mary. Alone and in silent prayer, she was silent in the presence of God. This is love in action for a contemplative “the silence of love is love in silence.” To sit silently just loving God and letting Him love us and to transform us. To be alone with the “one who is alone”. To be silent like Mary “who was able to hear the voice of an angel”. (Marie-Aimee de Jesus)
By being silent one is able to stay away the evils that come about in the abuse of words. What do we have to talk about? What is it that we communicate when we speak? Ideas? Actually, most of what we communicate are images and impressions – mostly foolishness and nonsense. In reality the more we speak the more our interior recollection is clouded. While on the contrary, silence makes for recollection. Silence is difficult and poorly observed. This we can all agree. It costs.
Fr. Emiliano Antenucci has a lovely little booklet titled Our Lady of Silence.The booklet introduces devotion to Mary under this title and promotes the importance of silence, of not speaking badly of others, and of listening to God, all of which are important to the Holy Father, Pope Francis.
Our Lady of Silence
St. John of the Cross teaches that silence is the language God hears best; therefore, one ought to remain in silence with desires and tongue silenced. Thoughts and words are limiting. They limit time with the Lord. To be truly present before Him, the faculties need to be silenced and remain in a state of interior quiet. It is in this silent waiting of prayer through faith and love that will bring the soul to the God it is seeking.
We need to bring Christ into the lives of others, but first we need to begin by bringing Him into our own life. We can begin by inviting Him to join us in the interior of our heart: in deep recollection, in silence, and in solitude. Then we can hear His voice and prepare for His coming however He may manifest His presence.
We can add more silence into our lives by first setting aside useless chatter, then self-love, sensitiveness, the prattle of fantasy and imaginings, and the thoughts that flit from here to there. In addition to these, we can get rid of any preoccupation with useless things, so that we can hear the Lord speak.
Silence can be uncomfortable at first, but by gradually making some changes there can be more room for silence. We can begin by not turning on the radio after getting into the car. Forgoing the evening news, or maybe just by being more gentle and soft when we speak are other ways to add more silence. More ways to foster silence throughout the day can happen by eliminating gossip, curiosity, and any noisy habits that can disturb and upset us and our peace of mind. Silence can bring health to mind and body. The habit of silence will take some effort, but the fruits are precious: more calm, more peace, more attentive understanding towards God and others. Allowing more “space” to be silent with the Lord to hear what he has to say is the silence of contemplation.
Exterior solitude can assist in interior solitude enabling the spirit to soar up to God. This exterior solitude is in imitation of Jesus who often sought places of solitude to pray – to the mountain, the garden, a lonely place. Try to sit alone for five minutes in a quiet, comfortable place, then gradually add more time and just be still.
God comes and speaks to the heart in this solitude where there is silence of the senses and spirit. God, however, speaks silence, and for most of us He is passed by to the noisiness of the day and events that fill it. No one thinks to find Him in the silence – so near and within. Now this is where Mary can help us. She can teach us silence and how to listen. Mary shows us how to be attentive to the needs of others, how to be humble, docile and pure all the while trusting in the mercy of God. Let us learn to listen to Him speak to us in the Silence, letting Him love us, while we return the love.
“A silent heart is a pure heart; a melody singing in the heart of God. Like a sacristy lamp flickering noiselessly at the tabernacle, and like incense silently rising at the Savior’s throne, such is love’s silence.” (Marie-Aimee de Jesus)
St. Teresa of Avila was born in Spain in 1515. She is most known for her spiritual perfection and for the many mystical revelations that she received. After entering the Carmelite Order as a young woman, she soon began to have a desire to live her religious life more ardently. This caused her to attract many companions and eventually lead to the reform of the Carmelite Order. St. Teresa wrote several treatises on the topic of prayer. She is one of the few women that have been declared a Doctor of the Church. She died in 1582 in Alba de Tormes, Spain. Her feast day is today, October 15th.
Before she even begins to write about prayer in The Way of Perfection, St. Teresa says she will “mention some things that are necessary for those who seek to follow the way of prayer.” These things are so necessary that she says if one does not possess these, it is impossible to be a contemplative. So what are these things?
“The first of these is love for one another; the second is detachment from created things; the third is true humility, which even though I speak of it last, is the main practice and embraces all the others.” (Way of Perfection 4: 4)
St. Teresa was keenly aware that the practice of the virtues is what supports prayer. Key to the spiritual life are these three: love, detachment, and humility. Love, of course, is first. It is love that moves us to pray, and it is love that is the greatest commandment: love God and love neighbor. It follows that some sort of detachment is also necessary because this virtue involves our choices. Our heart loves and is centered on what we love and desire and often these are not leading us to intimacy with God. Humility, which is next, but most importantly, is about the truth. The truth we are mainly concerned with is the truth about ourselves. An aid to the truth about ourselves is an honest examination of all areas of our lives and determining what is in need of repentance, where are our failures, and what are our sins, but also necessary is a look at our attitudes that may need to be pruned and gifts which may need to be cultivated.
Prayer is the activity especially intended for making fervent acts of charity. During prayer, the soul lovingly meets with God. A soul that loves God does so with a pure heart; a heart that loves Him so much that it seeks only after His glory and His will. The prayer of a soul that loves God forgets itself and is ready to sacrifice every wish for Him. Its love grows stronger and will continue to grow as it performs all its actions with a whole heart and with all of its capacity for goodwill. However, St. Teresa says that it is also important for us to have a love for one another, but “because of either excess or defect we never reach the point of observing this commandment perfectly.” (The Way of Perfection, 4:5) When we live with others those annoying things and habits that we all have will be “suffered easily by those who love one another”. Sometimes we gravitate towards loving one person more than another. St. Teresa also points out that when we love others excessively we are unable to love God excessively!Nevertheless, she does value friendships and said that in her convents “all must be friends, all must be loved, all must be held dear, all must be helped.” (The Way of Perfection, 4:7)
Detachment is also necessary for one who is setting out on the way of prayer. Attachment is clinging to people, ideas, and things that give satisfaction, comfort, and pleasure. Detachment is letting go of the need to find pleasure, comfort, and satisfaction in these things and to center all our desires on God. Detachment is about seeking God first. One important way to practice detachment is to detach from the love of our bodies which demand so much comfort and strive to be more faithful to our duties. St. Teresa says that our bodies want so much comfort that the more we give it the more it demands. St. Teresa also suggests that souls try to remember that everything is vanity and will all come to an end. It is a great help for souls to remove any attachment it might have to trivial things and to center its thoughts on eternal things. Detachment and control of the passions can help our soul to be like Mary’s – silent and solitary- and filled with the presence of God.
In The Way of Perfection chapter 10, St. Teresa writes about the virtues of humility and detachment saying that “They are two inseparable sisters.” Our saint warns that souls need to not feel secure or fall asleep. She advises souls to be alert in “going against our own will”. Going against our own will is humility. She points out that turning and being against ourselves is a difficult thing because. . . we “love ourselves greatly”. How true this is! The soul should embrace these two virtues and by doing so, imitate Christ who “was never for a moment seen without them!” Another interesting thing about these virtues is that they “have the characteristic of so hiding themselves from the person who possess them that these persons never see them or manage to believe that they even have them”.
St. Teresa in The Way of Perfection Chapter 17 writes about the importance of humility in regard to contemplation. She says, “this is an important aspect of prayer and indispensable for persons who practice it”. She understood that God, if He so desires, is the one who leads the soul that prays into contemplation. Not everyone who prays must be a contemplative and being a contemplative is not necessary for our salvation. St. Teresa stresses that “to be a contemplative is a gift from God.” However, she does not want us to give up prayer for any reason, but we are to persevere because sometimes, “the Lord comes very late and pays just as well, and all at once, what he was giving to others in the course of many years.” So we should strive “in humility, mortification, detachment, and the other virtues…[and not] be afraid that you will fail to reach the perfection of those who are very contemplative.”
“I don’t say that we shouldn’t try; on the contrary, we should try everything. What I am saying is that this is not a matter of your choosing but of the Lord’s….Be sure that if you do what lies in your power, preparing yourselves for contemplation with the perfection mentioned, and that if He doesn’t give it to you (and I believe He will give if detachment and humility are truly present), He will save this gift for you so as to grant it to you all at once in heaven.” (The Way of Perfection, 17:7)
A soul devoted to loving God has made the one necessary resolution in prayer which is to be recollected. Only then is it able to give itself entirely to God. We often fail to dispose ourselves for contemplation either because we give in to too much activity or because we do not produce enough acts of love. By offering to God a holy heart, one free from all actual stain of sin, we can at least do our part and strive for perfection.
May all our efforts cooperate with the grace God gives in each moment to prepare a heart, pure and receptive, to receive so great a gift.
Today, October 15th, is the feast day of St. Teresa of Jesus, Virgin and Doctor of the Church. It is also a Solemnity within the Carmelite Order. On this day it would be good, inspired by St. Teresa, to begin to live our religious life more ardently. All of us, whether a priest, bishop, religious or layperson, can foster this desire to live our spiritual life more perfectly.
Today is a new day; a day to begin again. Today we can begin to say our prayers faithfully and to say them well. Today we can begin to remain in the presence of God throughout our day and while doing our daily duties. Today we can begin to partake in the sacramental life of the Church more regularly and with greater devotion. Today we can begin to practice more self-denial and be at the service of others.
Father, by your Spirit, you raised up our Mother, St. Teresa of Jesus, to show your Church the way to perfection. May her inspired teaching awaken in us a longing for true holiness. Grant this through our Lord. Amen. (from the Carmelite Proper of the Liturgy of the Hours)
This short video-clip was filmed in Alhambra and San Jose/San Francisco, California during the visit of the walking staff of St. Teresa. This video was filmed by the people traveling with the walking staff that is making its way around the world. The presentation in this video of Carmelite spirituality is very good. The whole Carmelite Order is celebrating the 500th Centenary of St. Teresa’s birth this year.
The mission of the priest is to mediate between God and man. This mission is two-fold for he offers Christ to the Trinity when he offers the host during the consecration, and then at communion he distributes to the faithful the Bread of Life giving Christ to the world.
For this divine task Christ-like souls are needed, which is why Carmelites pray for priests. The whole Church should help priests to acquire this Christ-like soul, but contemplatives in particular come to their aide.This apostolic element of the Teresian charism is found in The Way of Perfection where St. Teresa of Jesus exhorts her nuns to:
“strive to be the kind of persons whose prayers can be useful in helping those servants of God who through much toil have strengthened themselves with learning and a good life and have labored so as now to help the Lord.” (Way of Perfection 3:2)
This apostolate of those who dwell in cloisters is to silently immolate their lives in purity, simplicity and crucified.
Since the priest is another Christ and is to communicate Christ to the world, he needs an interior life even though he may be busy. However, he can only do that in the measure in which he possess Jesus himself. Therefore, contemplatives need to pray for priests asking God to help them to remain ever at the fountain of living water so that He can overflow on those around him without ever becoming empty himself.
While the priest carries Christ to souls in word and sacrament, contemplatives then stay close to the feet of Christ in silent adoration, like Mary beside the cross, asking Him to render the priest’s words fruitful in souls. The contemplative does this to help priests and for the redemption of souls.
“I beg you to strive to be such that we might merit from God two things: First, that among the numerous learned men and religious there be many who will meet these requirements I mentioned that are necessary for this battle, and that the Lord may prepare those who do not meet them; one who is perfect will do much more than many who are not. Second, that after being placed in this combat, which as I say, is not easy, they may receive protection from the Lord so as to remain free of the many perils there are in the world, and stop their ears in order not to hear the siren’s song on these dangerous sea. If we can obtain some answers from God to these requests , we shall be fighting for Him even though we are very cloistered.” (Way of Perfection 3:5)
The greatest obstacles to contemplation is not disposing yourself for it. When we remain dissipated and attached we block the reception of this most sublime gift.
St. John of the Cross in his work The Dark Night speaks of this desire for contemplation when he writes, “For God does not bring to contemplation all those who purposely exercise themselves in the way of the spirit, nor even half. Why? He best knows.” (Book I, Chap 9) However, in his commentary on The Rule of Carmel, Jerome of the Mother of God, OCD, says that the saying “He best knows” is a Spanish saying which means: the whole world knows it. Because precisely when one does not do what one ought- then it is clear as day!
How can we excite in ourselves the desire to attain the gift of contemplation?
We often fail to dispose ourselves for contemplation either because we give in to too much activity or because we do not produce enough acts of love. By offering to God a holy heart, one free from all actual stain of sin, we can at least do our part and strive for perfection.
St. Teresa in The Way of Perfection chapter 17 says, “I don’t say that we shouldn’t try; on the contrary, we should try everything. What I am saying is that this is not a matter of your choosing but of the Lord’s….Be sure that if you do what lies in your power, preparing yourselves for contemplation with the perfection mentioned, and that if He doesn’t give it to you (and I believe He will give if detachment and humility are truly present), He will save this gift for you so as to grant it to you all at once in heaven.”
May all our efforts cooperate with the grace God gives in each moment to prepare a heart, pure and receptive, to receive so great a gift.
“I was doing a lot of spiritual reading – Lives of the Saints – Joan of Arc, St. John Bosco, St. Benedict, I was going through St. John of the Cross’ Ascent of Mount Carmel and the first parts of the Dark Night for the second time in fact, but for the first time with understanding.
The big present that was given to me, that October, in the order of grace, was the discovery that the Little Flower really was a saint, and not just a mute pious little doll in the imaginations of a lot of sentimental old women. And not only was she a saint, but a great saint, one of the greatest: tremendous! I owe her all kinds of public apologies and reparation for having ignored her greatness for so long, but to do that would take a whole book, and here I have only a few lines to give away.
… However, no sooner had I got a faint glimpse of the real character and the real spirituality of St. Therese, than I was immediately and strongly attracted to her – an attraction that was the work of grace since, as I say, it took me, in one jump, clean through a thousands psychological obstacles and repugnances.
And here is what strikes me as the most phenomenal thing about her. She became a saint, not by running away from the middle class, not by abjuring and despising and cursing the middle class, or the environment in which she had grown up; on the contrary, she clung to it in to as far as one could cling to such a thing and be a good Carmelite. She kept everything that was bourgeois about her and was still not incompatible with her vocation: her nostalgic affection for a funny villa called “Les Buissonnets,” her taste for utterly oversweet art, and for the little candy angels and pastel saints playing with lambs so soft and fuzzy that they literally give people like me the creeps. She wrote a lot of poems which, no matter how admirable their sentiments, were certainly based on the most mediocre of popular models.
To her, it would have been incomprehensible that anyone should think these things ugly or strange, and it never even occurred to her that she might be expected to give them up, or hate them, or curse them, or bury them under a pile of anathemas. And she not only became a saint, but the greatest saint there has been in the Church for three hundred years – even greater than the two tremendous reformers of her Order, St. John of the Cross and St. Teresa of Avila.
….What can such a one do with his new idol? Stare at her picture until it makes him dizzy. That is all. But the saints are not mere inanimate objects of contemplation. They become our friends, and they share our friendship and reciprocate it and give us unmistakable tokens of their love for us by the graces that we receive through them. And so, now that I had this great new friend in heaven, it was inevitable that the friendship should begin to have its influence on my life.”
What is the difference between meditation and contemplation? A great 4 minute video that explains the difference can be found here at Catholic Spiritual Direction.
There is vocal prayer and meditation, but what exactly is contemplative prayer? Ask a Carmelite Sister.…here. Sr. Laus Gloriae, O.C. D. explains what contemplation is and even gives the three signs of transition into contemplative prayer that St. John of Cross writes about in his work The Dark Night.
a solitary bird 